from the journal…

4–21–23

Expenses. Have to get this done. Cleaning and making myself paperless… this office is chaos and is my ONLY project and focus till I have to get the kids.

Attitude as soon as I woke, but I immediately talked myself out of it. Or not so much talked out of it but fought the attitude, took it on as an adversary, and one formidable. I wouldn’t back down, not a millimeter or millimeters. I’m not doing this today, I said to myself. It’s Friday, I have my babies, it’s gorgeous outside…. There is nothing warranting complaint or grievance.

Expense report done, one source of stress for the wrier this morning and the last couple days. My fault, I know. It’s done thought now so moving on.

Reducing the amount of paper in my life — this office and wallet, anywhere. Yes the journal will be spared, but these receipts and the little notes from the 5x8 notepads from work or wherever. Quitting, like anything else.

09:22… running for lunch — OH, charge watch. Charging… more than motivated in these early Friday hours and I won’t let it be any other way.

Why is it, so many times, as soon as I wake up I have this push of pessimism? What causes that? Maybe the cause isn’t important at all, what it’s motive is and what it’s even there. Just attack it.

Just what I did, and am doing now. New attitude toward work and sales, prospecting new business, all of it. Sent a friend a text, random cash on the desk and even that is going to be no more. Consolidation in the most sensible and balanced yet radical Road.

Our own thinking, mind, personality and cognitive composition can be our opposer. Stay calm, and adhere to Self, not that one downing voice. If you have to, ignore it. Or, take the fight as I did.