from a journal

5/16/19

Day starts. I’m not feeling all of my normal character. Think I finally caught the bug wife had, then Emmie. So my turn. I keep pushing as I noted this morning, what I need do. Work, work will solve everything, work, MY work, is the answer. Going to a Maker’s Faire this weekend for work, my first event in a while, and after doing a little excavating of the website and seeing what it’s about, I’m propelled to give more to what I do as a writer — want to be seen more as a maker, a true creative. For people to learn from and if not learn from then for new ideas, to keep sharing ideas. Semester over as of last night, reg instruction at least. So what now… give everything to indie instruction. Write writing prompts, post more videos, more audio tracks on knowledge and philosophy. I’m convinced I can make more money with indie instruction and workshops than I can at the JC. We’ll see…..

Nearly done with latte, have about 30 minutes to self to write and collect as I do in the morning. Just noticed there’s a table in the nook, again. Why didn’t I look there, first. Hasn’t been a table there in some time. And, feeling a bit tired. This has to be the bug. I know, don’t strain self, take it easy etc. I will, but I need push self a bit to stay in this mode, posture as an instructor, or writer with some teaching tilt. Learning from the morning that I have to keep motion motioned. Don’t stop. If I do I’m afraid I’ll fixate too much on this feeling of sluggishness, the sore throat. And I have my half in Santa Cruz, Sunday. Keep moving, Mikey, must move move MOVE. What to do now, before clock-in. Anything.

(bottledaux.com)